Lately I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and dissatisfied with so many things, and I just feel like my life has been going like…
You know that feeling when you’re just like “why can’t I just catch a break?” That’s been me. So one day I just fell asleep out of frustration (and anxiety) and then I wake up to the news I knew SOMEDAY I was going to have to hear. I just wasn’t expecting it to be on this day. At all.
Logic is retiring. His final album, No Pressure, will be released on July 24.
At first, I honestly didn’t know how to react other than cry. And surely, I cried for hours. We’ve been over this so many times guys… I’ve had this blog since 2014, it was pretty messy for quite a while (but I didn’t know better) and then once 2019 hit I was like, it’s time to stop playing around. Bobby was the motivation. I know that he’s just a father trying to give his son the world, just give him everything that he never had… but as a fan it was a huge sting.
Then I immediately told myself, I’m taking the day off on the 24th. I must. I realize a TON of people still don’t understand why I made a big deal out of this, so I’ll explain why. Fridays are big day for new music, right? So if you’re someone who writes about music, you become pretty darn busy on Fridays. And of course, I know artists, managers, PR folks, and many others in the industry are going to feel that. Fridays are the big day! Now let’s say you run a flower shop, and it’s the most popular flower shop in town… and then you decide to not open at all on Valentine’s Day. Okay, you see what I’m hinting at?
Fridays are literally the make or break day of the week for me.
Well… I’ve done it before. When BTS dropped Map Of The Soul: 7, I took a day (which turned into a week) off from writing to just let that album saturate in my brain. It was the best thing I could’ve done for my mental health at the time. But hey – that was back in February. The moment things started shutting down in March, I felt like it was time to start heading into maximum overdrive with the writing because that’s all there would be. I felt (and still feel) like whenever shows return, the amount of writing I did during this indefinite amount of time will play a huge factor as to whether I get to do the things I want or not. Of course, it won’t be the sole factor that determines everything, but I know it’s coming. So here goes more pressure that I’m putting on myself. And then it goes deeper than that.
Oh, but it’s just one day, right? One day totally won’t make or break me… or will it? Will people judge me when I let them know I’m going to need to move certain things around? Do others actually realize I’ve been over my head? I can go on and on. But the only person who could truly stop me from doing anything on Friday (or Thursday night for that matter) was myself.
Love and reassurance is all you really need. Well, there’s more but yeah.
I hopped on Logic’s Twitch channel to watch his No Pressure album release party. Immediately, I felt that sense of being exactly where I needed to be, just like when I’m at his shows. It’s pretty well known that Bobby hasn’t been on social media much lately. He took time to describe how with Twitch, he was creating a much more positive environment for himself to engage with us fans. His Twitch chat is on sub only mode, so only paid subscribers would be able to leave comments.
Throughout the night, I kept mentioning how REFRESHED Bobby looked. To me, he didn’t look the slightest bit stressed. Once 9PM hit, Spotify crashed. Of course, he wasn’t the only artist with a huge album dropping that night. But in that moment, nothing else mattered to me except for him and No Pressure. I was ready to experience the emotional cleanse I so desperately needed.
Listening to this album with Bobby and thousands of other members of the Rattpack (virtually) was incredible. Surely, I could talk about how he took it way way WAY back. I could talk about how much I connect with “Heard Em Say.” I could also talk about theories and uhhh *cough* Ultra 85 for AGES. But instead, I wanted to focus on this:
Bobby’s words that I think stood out to me the most that night were, “I bid you farewell, and as always, I’m obediently yours. I won’t be on the internet for the first time in my career because it hurts me, and every time I released an album I just wanted to be loved. And this time I don’t check the internet because I finally love myself.“
In that moment I fully processed the fact that No Pressure was created the way he wanted it – HIS way.
Doing you IS hard
There were probably so many people trying to get him to do one thing or another with this, and then of course (there’s fan expectations.) He mentioned multiple times that the amount of samples used were so expensive to clear. While he wasn’t going to be raking in a ton of cash with this release, he said he didn’t mind. He was proud of what he created, and there wasn’t a single person in the world that was going to make him feel otherwise once that album ended.
Also, it wasn’t goodbye. It was the start of a new era. One where Bobby said that now “I can go fish.. and shoot guns… and wipe my son’s ass… and f**k my wife and have more kids.”
I don’t think I’ll be finding my chill anytime soon. But what this night taught me is that even though I can’t control other people’s actions, I really do owe it to myself to try to not put so much pressure on myself (from me). I’m pretty nervous about what this week will bring. It’s currently 1:19AM… will I wake up to actual angry nudges in my inbox? (Even though I’ve pleaded to people so many times to not do this because it really triggers my anxiety.) Will someone say something to purposely provoke me? Will I be able to put out the content I want or be productive at all? I literally don’t know.
But I’m so glad I got to take a tiny bit of time to myself, and I’m SO damn glad this album exists.
Thank you Bobby. PLP.
