Share
Growing up, I was constantly told that my voice was “too rough” and way too loud. It turned into something I became very self-conscious about, but what I absolutely couldn’t stand was being told to smile for someone!
It feels so strange that others would assume that just because I’m not smiling at a given moment, it must mean that I’m angry or upset. Expecting someone to be happy all the time is an unrealistic standard, but we all have our own ways of expressing our happiness. As I grew older, I started to realize that many other people who identify as femme have experienced the same exact thing. I also realized that most of these comments have come from men, and people who just don’t know me that well.
(Also… being told that I needed to “look more confident” at a show by a complete stranger prior to entering the photo pit? Weird flex, dude.)
It’s all something to put thought into, and emerging singer/songwriter Tessa Kaye wants to continue the conversation today with her new single “Smile More.”
Tessa Kaye was born in Philly, and grew up in Utah with her adoptive family. She was raised in the Mormon church, and being a black girl in a predominantly white community definitely presented itself with its challenges. As a young adult, Tessa decided to move out west to focus on her artistry, and now she’s simply singing her truths!
At the very beginning of 2020, Tessa released her debut single “Fools Gold.” It quickly made its way onto various Spotify editorial playlists, including the coveted New Music Friday U.S. “You Know Who You Are and I Hate You” followed later in the year, which found Tessa being very open about her struggles with anxiety.
She shared, “although it could be about a romantic relationship as well, I’m personally talking to my anxiety about the ways it has debilitated my life at times. I’ve had a lot of people try to tell me that my anxiety and how much I feel is a weakness. It’s taken a lot of self work for me to realize that there’s a strength in allowing yourself to simply be as weak as you feel in a moment. Black women in particular are always looked at as ‘strong black women’ and while yes, that is true, there are many sides to us.”
In “Smile More,” Tessa calls out the double standards society has set about how men and women are allowed to express themselves. She admits, “It’s a weird, ridiculous expectation people place on women, to look pleasant 100% of the time.”
Tessa adds, “Every woman I know has stories of times they’ve been told to smile… usually from men, and complete strangers at that. I’ve also experienced this countless times myself since I was a little girl. It’s something I’ve never understood, and grown quite tired of, hence this song being born.”
With many more empowering songs sure to follow, Tessa is an artist you’ll want to keep your eyes on in 2021. Check out “Smile More” below, and say hi to Tessa Kaye on Instagram @tessa_kaye!
