Drop The Mic! (But Don’t Break It… You’ll Need It Later)

Hi! You’re about to read the story of how I saw Logic two days in a row, camped out during a winter storm for his College Park album release party, and met the man himself. But first things first, allow me to make myself clear…

We’ve all had at least ONE moment in our lives where we’ve told ourselves, “Nothing can top this right here. NOTHING. If for whatever reason there is indeed something that could top this, honestly it doesn’t even matter. Out of sight, out of mind.” I would consider those to be “mic drop moments,” since they kinda just speak for themselves, and nothing that happens afterwards really even matters.

(By the way, I hope no one comes after me for making generalizations here. I think these are good generalizations, right? I’m always craving for excitement, and I know I’m not the only one.)

The past two days would be what I consider the ultimate “mic drop moment” for myself in 2023. If something can and will top what unfolded on Wednesday and Thursday, I’ll welcome it with open arms! But for now… OH MY GOD Y’ALL.

The Backstory

Logic has been one of my favorite artists people since 2016, and after seeing him for the first time (ages ago) I told myself I’d jump up at every opportunity I had to catch him live. Also, I’m biracial too so… it’s personal.

About a week or two ago, I found out that Logic would be taping a performance for Jimmy Kimmel Live! on February 22. I immediately requested tickets on a website called 1iota, and my request was approved! (Nothing beats seeing Bobby for free, right? Oh wait… haha… trust me, I’m getting there…)

Earlier this week, Logic also announced a special listening party for his new album College Park. The free listening party/merch popup would take place at El Rey on February 23, but would be limited to the first 500 fans that showed up. My back immediately started itching… thankfully I carry a bottle of lotion with me in the car. Something was telling me that most people would be camping out, and I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me doing such a thing. After all, I’ve never camped out for anything before, and really wasn’t prepared to start. The closest I’ve ever been to camping outside of a venue was arriving at the venue at 9 AM for Logic’s Bobby Tarantino Vs. Everybody Tour in 2018.

But I guess everyone has to start somewhere, right?!

Happy Hump Day!

Right after my morning class, I drove up to Hollywood for the Jimmy Kimmel Live! taping. I arrived in the area about an hour before check in, so I decided to walk into the Line Friends store to kill time. I figured I’d need to put my purchase back in the car, so I quickly went back into the garage to drop the bag off in my trunk. On my way down the escalators, I saw two guys decked in Logic merch heading up. That was my sign to hurry up!

When I got back to Hollywood Blvd, I jumped in line and was immediately reminded of how awesome Rattpack (Logic’s fandom) is. I got to chat it up with other fans, and admitted I was debating on whether or not to camp out for the album release party. Getting to the venue around 4am didn’t seem too intense to me, but it was still something that was out of my comfort zone. I told some folks that the course of (Wednesday) would determine if I actually went ahead and did it or not.

After everyone was checked in and searched by security, we were all escorted inside the studio. I genuinely couldn’t contain my excitement. I was speaking a mile a minute and felt VERY giddy. Truthfully, it had been a minute since I felt that way towards anything. There was a small stage to the right of the studio entrance, and us audience members were asked to fill up the space. There were roughly 50 of us too, so we knew the intimate nature of this event would make the experience even more unforgettable!

The taping started as soon as Logic came, with him making his way through the audience performing “Lightsabers.” Unfortunately I wasn’t in his path, but I was still happy to be so close to the stage! The person in front of me was much shorter than me, so I had a clear, unobstructed view. Next thing I knew, Logic was on the main stage throwing dollar bills into the crowd with Juicy J. I was ELATED to have my parking paid for!

“Lightsabers” was the only song that was filmed. Logic came back on stage and asked his team how much more time he had, then proceeded to perform “Everybody” and “Fade Away” just for us. (WILD, RIGHT?)

Once the performance concluded, we all exited the studio. A brilliant idea dawned upon me. What if I rounded up some other fans and went to the back to try to say hi? I was actually a little nervous to do so, because I didn’t want to be seen as some chic who has nothing better to do than wait outside buildings for celebrities. The thing is, I had SUCH a good time with everyone inside and had way too much energy to just go straight back to my car. A few other fans and I walked to a back alley, where we saw a line of autograph hunters. These dudes were so hard core – they had huge ladders and a boatload of stuff to get signed. Some of them were telling us that Logic wouldn’t be coming out until 6PM, but I didn’t believe that at all.

I led the group to Hawthorn Ave, the street right behind the studio and in front of Hollywood High School. We all stood around talking – and since we were on public property and not blocking any gates, I didn’t think anyone could shoo us away. We stood beside one gate, and a guard told us we’d want to stand at the other gate. We were all a little iffy about it, but then it started making sense due to the way the parking lot was set up. We stood by that other gate, and in less than an hour, we saw Logic walking out of the studio. AND THEN HE…

He came up to us, and told us to get everything ready that we wanted him to sign. Everyone had gotten a dollar bill from the taping signed, and he personalized the signatures as well! (I told that man my government name!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I made sure to thank him for the parking money. He also took pictures with us, and as soon as I was finished I shouted into the distance, “I’M CAMPING OUT TOMORROW!”

My mind was MADE UP. I was too hype to not camp out, and I was too hype to even remember the fact I would be facing very nasty traffic heading back to the South Bay. I ended up making a pit stop for boba and groceries, still struggling to function because YO WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

… LOL

As soon as I got home, I took a shower and started packing up what I’d be bringing with me to El Rey. A thick blanket, a folding chair, a pillow and snacks went into the back seat of my car. It was roughly 8PM, and I was really trying my hardest to unwind. But what does insomnia do? It gives no… think of a word that rhymes with sucks and starts with an f. Yeah. I was laying in bed, trying my absolute hardest to fall asleep and take a nap before my intended 2 or 3AM departure.

It’s funny how I thought I’d be able to get any sleep. Seriously, I just couldn’t close my eyes and fall asleep. As I watched the time go by, I realized I might as well just start making my way up to the venue. I also needed to stop by Raising Cane’s to eat the dinner I forgot to have earlier, and look for hand warmer packets at a pharmacy. (I couldn’t find them… eek!)

Before I left, I contacted a few friends who I knew had camped outside of a concert before. I let them know what I was about to do, and asked for some advice. It seemed like I had taken all the right steps, and I prepared myself as best as I could for what was to come.

Oh, there’s one other thing I forgot to mention. A winter storm was passing through LA, and the temperatures were going to be VERY VERY VERY COLD. Like 40°F cold.

Sleeping With One Eye Open

I arrived at El Rey at 1AM, and saw just a few people outside the venue. I set up my spot, and was the 10th person in line. I introduced myself to everyone around me, and was able to take a nap once some guys came behind me. I’m gonna be completely honest… it REALLY wasn’t that bad. With all the layers I had on, I was really cozy. I was in and out of sleep for hours, and was thankful that the rain overnight was relatively mild. Ultimately, I was very proud of myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing such a thing. I figured once the daytime hit, things would be a whole lot easier since I could walk around.

XOXO Rattpack Lyfe <3

It was a relatively uneventful morning, but I did watch the line grow as the hours passed. I felt like a complete badass for camping out, and was so glad I chose to do so. The experience involved teamwork, since we all had to watch out for one another’s spots when people needed food and bathroom breaks.

Around noon, the restaurant next to El Rey started being wrapped for a Mr. Burger pop-up experience. Mr. Burger is a fictional restaurant mentioned in the skit at the end of “Clone Wars III.” While I didn’t end up eating there, I thought the idea was so cute!

Ticket distribution was set to take place at 4PM, with the doors to the venue opening at 7PM. As the time got closer and closer, my concern about whether or not the venue would honor our line started to grow. Sure, no one told us we HAD to camp out, but it would’ve been quite messed up if it turned into a total free-for-all with people running to the box office at 4PM. Here’s the thing though – Rattpack takes “peace, love and positivity” VERY seriously. I’ve always had such great things to say about the way the crowds behave at Logic’s shows, and I had a tremendous amount of faith that things would be no different this time around.

Right before 4PM, the venue staff came around and let us know how things would go. Thankfully, the staff would be walking down the line distributing the tickets. We were all asked to get in a single file line, or else we’d be skipped. Once we got our tickets, we were allowed to keep the same order of line as long as we returned by 7PM.

The weather was behaving itself too, until roughly 4:30PM. ICE started falling from the sky. At first I thought it was hail, but (as I write this) I’m looking back and realizing it was graupel… so it was SNOW. YO, IT WAS SNOWING IN THE CITY. They don’t call it the Miracle Mile for nothing!

Once the doors opened, security started letting groups in little by little. It felt good to not have to worry about a stampede to the front of the stage. There was no barricade, so me and everyone else who was front row got to lean onto the stage. A few couches were set up in the center of the stage, with Rhetorik’s DJ booth to the left. I quickly realized Logic was standing up there with him too, and I immediately felt like an Olympic athlete who was being presented with a gold medal. I high-fived those around me and said, “THIS IS WHAT RATTPACK IS ALL ABOUT!”

THE PARTY

It took quite a while for everyone to get inside the venue, so Rhetorik was blasting tunes from every corner of Logic’s discography. Once the party officially got started, Logic gave everyone a mini performance. Juicy J was also in attendance again, and the two did an unforgettable “Slob On My Knob” duet. The performances ran until 9PM, which is when College Park was officially out!

Logic let everyone know that we’d be listening to the album from start to finish, and he wanted us all to just live in the moment and enjoy ourselves. There were moments when Logic and Rhetorik would throw merch into the crowd, and Logic would also have the music paused to tell some stories.

It was a vibe being able to listen to the album in such an environment – being surrounded by diehard fans, Logic’s team, family, and close friends. I didn’t use my phone too much during this segment, and enjoyed the moments of feeling mind blown over what I was hearing. College Park felt like an album that exuded confidence, and by that I mean, you could just tell that Logic was very comfortable with the position he was in (or would be in) when this project would be heard by the world. Some of my personal favorites are “Redpill VII,” “Gaithersburg Freestyle,” and “Come On Down.”

Oh, and I wouldn’t be P(lowercase L)NKWIFI without mentioning this teeny tiny tidbit. There was a point where Juicy J was standing on the edge of the stage with a huge bottle of uhhh… what I figured was vodka. I was feeling silly, and cued at him to give me a little shot. Just a little, okay? I only drink on very special occasions, and this WAS a special occasion indeed. He asked me how old I was, I held up a 2 and 4 with my hands, and then he bent down. I’m not very good at waterfalling, but all common sense gets thrown out the window when you’re having fun, right? I leaned my head back a little too far, and alcohol started going through my nose. Don’t cancel the man, because I should’ve known better. I felt like death for a good 30 minutes or so, and my sinuses were throwing a fit for the rest of the night. But I mean… it happens, right?

THANK YOU.

Once the album concluded, the event transitioned into a Q&A session. There were two microphones making their way around the venue, though I really wasn’t expecting to have a chance to speak. But of course, I told myself it was important to be a little delusional and think of a question anyways.

Tons of fans had the chance to rap with Logic, and it was super cool watching people’s dreams come true right before my own eyes. I could only imagine just how much it must have boosted the self-esteem of those who got to just be themselves with someone who they’ve looked up to for so long. There were other creatives who asked Logic for advice, and eventually asked if they could show him their work. He truly emphasized the fact that he wanted everyone to have business cards or thumb drives on them next time, and that there (would) be a next time to make it happen.

Right away, I started confronting some of my biggest insecurities. First off, let’s go right on back to the ooooopsie daisy moment I had earlier. My nose was running like a hose for the rest of the night, and there were tons (and I mean TONS) of people on stage looking into the crowd. I sensed that some were even looking at me. Many of them had cameras, and I was so scared of being judged by them as well as the people in the audience around me. No, I didn’t have Covid! I just made a stupid choice, but haven’t we all? See, here’s the thing…

Throughout my entire life, I’ve dealt with unforgiving sinus issues. I’ll admit, they were way worse when I was a kid. In elementary school, I was bullied for a myriad of reasons. But in 5th grade, I was tormented day in and day out for my sinus issues. I always appeared to be sick when I really wasn’t, and people would avoid me because of it. No one wanted to touch any surface that I had previously touched, and if they did, they would pretend that they were officially “contagious” because of me. Not one faculty member at the school were on my side. I will never forget the time the counselors at the school came into my classroom, gave a presentation about bullying, and I was forced to apologize for being a victim. It was constant misery for me, and I felt like there was just no hope for things to get better. Listen, I’m in my second semester of my junior year in university. I’m not only studying at the school that was my first choice, but I’m in a program that I love too much to describe right now. I’m at a point where I feel like I am far detached from my previous life in San Diego, because I am finally becoming my own and living my life the way I truly want to. But guess what? Words and actions still hurt. As a communications person, you’d expect me to know damn well that words cannot be taken back. You can forgive, but sometimes it’s too hard to forget. For all these years, I’ve still been struggling to heal from that completely traumatizing aspect of my childhood.

These flashbacks were really triggering my fight or flight, and I OH SO BADLY wanted to just run to the back of the venue. I didn’t, because I wanted to continue to be delusional and think I’d have a shot at asking Logic a question. The later it got, I figured it wasn’t going to happen. After all, the microphones never made their way anywhere remotely close to me. Just before I decided to stop ~trying~ to get anyone’s attention to send a microphone over, I felt a tap on my shoulder. There was a microphone being handed to me! I told the girl with the microphone that I’d be asking him about the (second) hottest topic in my life right now, creative burnout. (The first hottest topic is, of course, me having met Logic at last.)

Ah, creative burnout – the companion who has truly overstayed its welcome in my life. Please don’t mind me talking about myself again, but like… it’s crucial right now. Whether you’ve known me for a long time or not, I want you to know this website is my baby that I constantly feel like I’d be nothing without. I’ve grown this blog quite a bit over the past few years, and there’s been moments where I’ve truly felt like (this right here) is the only thing I have going on for myself, especially when it comes to dreaming of a career in the music industry. Writing has been my thing for as long as I’ve been alive. When I tell people that I essentially came out of my mom writing (banging away on a typewriter and throwing words down as a toddler) I really mean it, and I know my mom has pictures that can serve as your receipt. There’s been periods where I’ve questioned my abilities, but I was always able to snap out of it. This time around, it really hasn’t been that easy. Sometime in November, I really felt like I started hitting a creative wall. There were so many things I wanted to do on here, but I just couldn’t come around to doing them no matter how hard I tried.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t like posting something if I’m not 100% confident in it, but there’s been so many times where I’ve done it for the sake of getting content up and a fear of getting on “someone’s bad side.” After all, I’ve been told time and time again that the music industry is small. I’ve been told too many times in my life that I shouldn’t care about what others think of me, but I feel like it’s all a contradiction because if people don’t have a favorable opinion of me, they won’t offer me any opportunities. Over the past few months, I really feel like my ongoing impostor syndrome had a fight with creative burnout in my brain. Creative burnout didn’t just win the fight, it completely hijacked everything. I just got so tired of the content I’ve been posting on here, but I felt like I was in a box I just couldn’t break out of. I was tired of feeling like I’ve pissed too many people off with promises I couldn’t deliver in the end due to my burnout. I was tired of feeling like a “dozen” (this is K-Pop stan jargon, by the way) for not being able to do even the tiniest things on this blog, let alone make the content I wanted to make. I was SO FREAKING TIRED of telling myself I’d never get to do the things I truly wanted to do with the artists I’ve dreamed of working with, all because of my social media numbers. Perhaps most importantly, I was so disgusted and upset about the fact that I was barely applying anything I had learned in school over the past year to my platform due to all of the above. (Although I will say, I’m not about to freak out about AP Style here. Not now, not ever.) I felt like I was literally living a contradiction.

I would definitely say I reached my breaking point this past week. I just wanted out. That was all I could ever wish for at the moment.

Here’s one more tidbit of info before we get into what I told Logic, and what the man told me in return: I’ve been very insecure about my voice since I was younger, thinking that it was too deep and not “ladylike.” As an adult, the insecurity only got worse, and I’ve tried to alter my voice in different settings as an attempt to sound what I perceived to be more feminine. I failed 99% of the time.

Logic asked me for my name, age, and location. He started imitating a girl’s voice, and I took that as a sign that perhaps my voice did NOT indeed sound like a horse, or a 70-year-old man. It made me feel insanely confident in the moment. He then thanked me for listening through the entire album, which is another thing that really meant a lot to me. It hit me that he was indeed watching me as well, and he likely noticed my nonverbal communication showing I was truly enjoying and appreciating the project. (He wasn’t looking at me like “EWWWW LOOK AT THIS B****, OH MY GOD.”) I then proceeded to tell him that I’ve been struggling with very bad creative burnout lately, and didn’t want to know if he’s ever felt the same way… I wanted to know how he was able to pull himself out of it.

(I don’t know how the man knew I was a writer but…) He told me that I needed to continue to write, even when I felt like whatever words were coming out were awful. I just had to do it, because those words can start shaping an idea, and the idea might just turn into one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.

He told me what I needed to hear, and not necessarily what I wanted to hear. There’s tons of people who have told me that I should “take a break” when I feel burned out with this stuff, but every time I’ve gotten to that point, taking breaks felt like nothing but avoidance. In one of my copywriting classes, I learned a few really good brainstorming techniques that I decided to apply to my writing here. I noticed myself slowly but surely getting somewhere, and I was so proud of the progress I felt most would consider to be the bare minimum. Another thing I realized is I really needed things to fangirl over, because being a huge fangirl is a requirement for doing what I do.

Everything and I mean literally everything came together in that very moment. I felt as though one of my idols just pushed me to treat myself a lot better and aspire higher than ever before. I’m going to do exactly that from now on without thinking twice. I needed that more than anything, and while I could write paragraphs and paragraphs expressing my gratitude for Logic and how exciting this feeling of finally being set free mentally is, I don’t think it could really do justice to how I truly feel. So for now, all I can really say is THANK YOU.

As the event wrapped up, Logic took the time to sign tons of autographs for fans in the crowd. I got my ticket signed, and as I walked out of the venue, I couldn’t help but realize I had spent almost 24 entire hours at the venue. It’s one thing to hear people say this, but it’s another thing to actually experience it – I realized I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks and try doing stuff that I fear others may think is completely outlandish. If anyone wants to judge me for camping out to see Logic, having one of the greatest, God-tier experiences ever, and telling myself I would 10/10 do it again once he goes on tour? Boy, do I have a story for them…

And you mean to tell me this whole event was free?!